As you may have heard, we Jews like to argue. Especially about politics. One of the things I hope to address if fortunate enough to be elected to the Jerusalem City Council is the tone of such debates.
Towards that end, I want to share something known as a 'Call In'. We're all familiar with the 'Call Out' -- that's when someone says something inappropriate and we call them out on their statement/position. Maybe we even cancel them, letting them - and others - know that they have crossed a line that prohibits us from supporting them, listening to their views, even maintaining contact.
The problem with this approach, though, is that the 'Call Out' assumes that people cannot change.
Dr. Loretta Ross found that reality to be highly problematic. She dedicated her life to fighting racism in America, and often attended Ku Klux Klan gatherings to monitor them for human rights organizations. Her mentor suggested that she not only monitor them, but see if she might be able to 'turn' some of them, have them abandon their racism and become allies in her human rights work. Initially, she was not a big fan of this approach. She enjoyed hating these people and didn't think they were worthy or capable of change.
But she trusted her mentor and tried anyway, going to rallies and shouting that people needed to change, to abandon their ways, to repent. And she convinced exactly ...
No one.
So her mentor told her that if she is going to ask people to leave something of themselves behind, she had to at least be there for them when they did.
And that's when she started developing the 'Call In' -- an approach that let her 'invite' those KKK members to a conversation rather than a fight. It was tough, of course, especially when she had to ask them to explain their position, since she obviously didn't think their position had any merits worth explaining. But once she convinced them that she really cared for them, viewed them as at least as complex as she was, and just as worthy as she, they were open to a conversation. And, in time, they were also open to her perspective. And in time, they participated in their own education, their own process of transformation.
A well-known Talmudic story seems to suggest a similar approach. The story I'm referring to is the one in which a Roman soldier asks Hillel and Shamai to teach him the entire Torah while he stands on one foot. We all know how Shamai beats him with a rod and sends him away while Hillel tells him the whole Torah is about loving your neighbor as yourself. I'd like to offer a little twist on this story.
To do so, we have to first realize that this Roman soldier is mocking Hillel and Shamai, and mocking Judaism in general. Torah is something both of these men dedicated their entire lives to studying - day and night - and here comes someone and suggests its so shallow, so superficial that it can be learned in one sentence. (The insult might even be greater than that; the expression of 'on one foot' seems to have existed in greco-roman culture as an insult of sorts).
So Shamai's understanding is quite reasonable. Someone comes to mock him and says something absurd, he wants nothing to do with him. It's beyond the pale. So he cancels him.
Hillel, however, tries a different approach. He suggests that the man must sit and learn Torah to really appreciate what it's all about. That's the commentary -- something Hillel tells him he has to go and learn. But before doing that, Hillel first 'calls him in' and tells him that this Torah you are mocking is first about love. Hillel tells him that he cares for him, and that he will treat him in the same way Hillel would want to be treated. He is going to ask the Roman to leave something behind -- his mocking of Judaism -- but before he can ask him that, Hillel has to assure him that he cares for him and he will be there for the Roman as he goes through the process. In other words, the 'love your neighbor' is not necessarily the whole Torah (though it may be), but rather the strategy Hillel employs to invite someone he disagrees with vehemently into a conversation. And because it's done with love, the result is the Roman eventually sits and learns Torah.
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There will be many debates about what is the best approach to govern Jerusalem, and many fights over how to best allocate limited funds. It is only natural that people coming from different perspectives and backgrounds will feel differently. These fights, however, need to tear us apart and be filled with vitriol. If we choose to listen to one another, learn from one another, be respectful of one another and realize that the other, despite our disagreements, is just as complex as we are and care just as much about the city as we do, then a conversation will follow and maybe even the desire -- and then a path -- will emerge to insure all of us can have our needs fulfilled.
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